the new family car

If you ever happen to buy a motorcycle in East Asia, your experience might go something like this:

• Plan a time when your husband has the day off and make sure your helper is around for nap time so you can sneak out together for an hour or two, sans kiddos. I mean, it might even feel like a date!
• Go to the area of town where they sell lots of motorcycles. Since your husband has been shopping in 2 separate towns already, he will be fully knowledgeable of a good price to keep from getting ripped off.
• Seeing as how you live in a tropical climate, it might be hot as blazes when you get to the motorcycle shop. In that case, motorcycle dude might come up to talk with you wearing no shirt at all. Even though he really should be wearing one. Because here, during summer months, shirts are completely optional for men.
• Watch as your husband tries out a few motorcycles. Observe that since he is a foreigner with really long legs, he needs a tall enough bike which won't bump into said long legs while steering. While your husband tries out more bikes, listen to chatty, shirtless motorcycle dude make lots of observations about your home country although he's never actually been there.
• Be careful to note that you are looking for a lower-powered bike since local law says any motorbike over 48 cc's must have a licensed driver/registered tags. (Obtaining a license here = bothersome hassle). So, you observe that the bike you want to buy has a 48 cc engine sticker on it. But then, you notice that almost all of the bikes say they are 48 cc's. And listen to motorcycle dude freely share how they put these stickers on just about all the bikes, regardless of the engine inside, just to ensure you don't have to go and get a license. Because from the outside no one can tell the difference. Be reminded again how traffic laws here are often interpreted as suggestions.
• Once you haggle on a price, let the nice motorcycle folks finish preparing your bike to ride and mosey on next door to the outdoor stall that sells helmets and bike locks. Buy the best lock you can find to keep away thieves. But note that they only have the cheap kind of helmets that offer little more protection than a Tupperware bowl. So, go back to the bike shop and ask motorcycle dude where to find a good helmet. Listen to him explain that really you don't need a helmet, because the police probably won't pull you over for not wearing one (again, the rules thing) and that most helmets don't offer much protection anyway. Tell motorcycle dude you are actually interested in safety. He offers a suggestion on a place to buy a better helmet.
• Watch as the motorcycle people get your bike ready and then put the finishing touches on it, complete with red ribbon. Climb on the back before your husband drives away and look back to see 20 people gawking at the foreign couple on a bike.
• Enjoy the ride home with the wind in your hair. And, although you might have flashes of worry because your two children are sleeping at home and their parents are across town in heavy traffic on a motorcycle with no helmets and could be orphaned in an instant, you still enjoy the time on the bike and realize it's more fun than you thought it would be. And, be thankful that soon you are moving to a much, much smaller town with no heavy traffic.
• Come home and watch your almost 4 year old literally squeal with excitement that Daddy has bought his bike. Note that you've not seen her this excited since she first discovered Disneyland. Listen to her squeal "wheeeee" as Daddy takes her on a short (and SLOW) little ride. Resolve quickly that you will need to get her a kiddie helmet pronto so you can sleep at night.
• Decide that although many local families put 4 people on a motorcycle, you really don't see how you can manage that and still have a shred of your sanity left. But still, you consider it for a brief second because it's so doggone handy to have a set of wheels!