the grandma club

Before moving overseas, and even for a long time afterward, I figured there would be a magical day in which cultural differences wouldn't really "get to me" anymore. A day in which I was so integrated into the culture that I was no longer seen as an outsider and I'd be just like one of them. I figured wrong. Or maybe I just haven't arrived there yet. I think if you talk with any expat living in this country, most would say there are periods of loving the culture and life overseas and then there are seasons where the stress of being the outsider really gets under your skin. When I take my girls out to play in the mornings, some days I feel like I'm back in junior high, not quite sure where I fit in the social order of things. Because the other kids playing outside are being cared for by their grandmothers. I've only met one stay-at-home mom in the entire apartment complex. Even at night, when the parents are off of work, it's still usually the grandparents who are outside playing with the kids. This group of grandmothers seems pretty tight and knows each other well. They are nice enough to me, but some of them are still not sure how to take these foreigners just yet. I had the most hilarious conversation with one grandmother (nai nai) just two days ago. Mind you, I've already met her on several occasions but she still can't seem to get over my, well, foreign-ness (is that even a word?) Nai nai (not even giving a morning greeting or saying hello): "Your skin is very weird. Why is your skin so white? Does your skin not get dark even if you stand in the sun?" Me: "Well, you can see I have freckles. If I stay in the sun my skin turns red and then develops freckles." Nai nai: "Well, I think your skin is very strange. Look at us, our skin does not get freckles. It just turns dark." Me: "Yes, us white folks have different skin." Nai nai: "Your daughter's eyes are not right" (yes, she literally said bu dui). Why are they blue? Our eyes are dark. Her eyes are just not right." Me: "Have you never seen a foreigner before?" Nai nai: "No, never." Yes, there's some pretty funny fodder that goes on in our morning play times. I might have to start a series on the subject because it's where all my parenting/cultural/generational gaps with the grandma group seem to loom the largest. But I'm praying and hoping we'll be good buds before long. Once they can stand to look at my white skin, that is.