School Days, Asian-style

{This post is rather lengthy and will most likely only interest family members. Read at your own risk of boredom and don't say I didn't warn you!}

Last year Kevin and I wanted to send Grace to a local preschool to help her learn the local language and make friends. However, the logistics of getting her there and back really made it unfeasible for our family. We knew when we moved that it would be much easier to take her to school everyday.

And when we moved to our small little city we started inquiring about preschools. Almost everyone we spoke with declared that the education system here is lacking and that the better schools are in the big city. Well, considering our goals for Grace are still for her to learn the local language and make friends that's not a huge concern to us. (And we'll be homeschooling her anyway!) Every single person we spoke with told us to go to the #1, 2, or 3 kindergartens and to stay away from the small, private schools because there are no good private ones here. So we looked at the suggested schools. The #3 kindergarten was already full with over 50 children in each class and the number 1 kindergarten was close to capacity as well. Yes, that's 50 four year olds in a classroom!

So, the #2 kindergarten was still up for grabs and our dear friends were sending their son there as well. Even though they aren't in the same class, it would be nice for Grace to have a friend already at the same place. Plus, you know, they have the best playground in town. (Seriously, there are no playgrounds here in town other than at the preschools. But don't tell my girls that because they totally believe the old people's exercise equipment at our apartment complex is for kids. But that's another story for another day).

Grace started school last week, and let me say it's just a whole new world for all of us. I completely appreciate the teachers and principal because this experience of having a foreign kid in their school is new for them as well. They have been patient and tried to find ways to make Grace feel more comfortable. The first day was rough as Grace wasn't quite sure what to do during the morning exercises with the music blaring so loudly, didn't want to drink the hot water they gave her, and was scared to grab the clothes of the child in front of her to line up for the squatty potty trough-style bathroom. (I'll admit, I had some queasiness in my stomach at this point, especially after seeing a few things. For one, the teacher in Grace's class said one of the little girls had a fever, but she didn't do anything to see about sending her home or keeping her away from the other kids. I also didn't like the fact that there was no place for the kids to wash their hands after the bathroom trips!) I stayed with Grace throughout the first hour until after the kids had finished their morning exercises. When the kids went back into the classroom, the teacher was definitely not going to let me stay. Grace seemed to be fine at her little table, so off I went. Later that morning she cried when I picked her up, saying it was because they didn't color that day and she had brought a special pencil from a friend so she could draw something!

But by day 2 Grace was using the squatty potty with the other kids and getting a little more used to things...emphasis on a little. Day 3 was her best day; she declared it was a "much better day" and that she really liked school.

And then this week hit. Day 4 heading back to school was rough because our family had to be out of town for 4 days, which was just long enough of a break to get out of the routine of school. Day 5 was the first time Grace cried, begged and pleaded not to go back to school. Amongst other things, we realized she doesn't like having to go to the bathroom with the other kids if she doesn't need to go, and she dislikes not having toilet paper. I can't say I blame her! I think she has some cultural adjustments she's trying to make in her mind. So after we talked through several issues she seemed better. By Day 6 the teachers said Grace was doing much better and getting a little more involved. Tomorrow starts a new weeks and I'm ready to see how it goes!

Even though Grace doesn't want to go in the mornings and won't give me much information about what the kids actually do during class time, I still think going for a few hours each morning is good for her. She already seems a little more willing to use the local language. And she's as happy as a lark when she comes home. I figure it can't be all that bad if she comes home so happy! She has a little mini-reunion with Trinity every day when she comes home and they play well together. It's fun to watch. My mom reminded me that I need to take pictures of her school, so I'll try to do that soon Mom. Until then, you can see my big girl above heading out the door on her first day.

Just tonight, Grace told me this. "Mommy, do you know what my THREE favorite things to do are? One is going to school, another one is watching movies on our special movie nights, and my MOST favorite thing of all is spending time with you!" (Followed by a big hug.) If that didn't just about make my month, I don't know what would. That makes up for probably a whole year's worth of morning school drama!

I'm proud of you, my big girl!

just pictures

Texan at heart Dancing like sister playing with a sweet friend who brought us dress up clothes

First time to be willing to get her hands dirty with finger paint

Finger paint which turned into body paint

too cool for school

yogurt face

Her rendition of Lammy

the treehouse

I can look around my apartment and instantly have memories of friends who have moved on and left their belongings behind. Life overseas is filled with transitions, with people coming and going, giving and lending and receiving and sharing and packing and moving on. I truly believe it's made me hold on to things a little more loosely. When we first moved to Asia 6 years ago we filled our entire earthly possessions into 6 bags, or was it 7? It was so long ago I honestly can't remember now. But boy we have certainly expanded since that time. Loved ones are so good to send toys and clothes and gifts from home. Grandparents have been known to package an entire tent into their suitcase all to bring some joy to their granddaughters! And they've also notoriously paid for overweight luggage because they know how much fun it is to get goodies from America. Last week some of our favorite people moved into town. (Can I get a hallelujah!?) And their oldest daughter, Miss H, is growing up. She decided to pass on her American Girl doll treehouse to my girls. Now let me tell you, when I found this out I almost cried because I know that her sweet Nana brought this over from America in her suitcases (I would have loved to see how she did it!) and this was certainly no small feat. I think it would be great for Miss H to be able to pass this down to her own kids someday, but I've been told there's likely no way to get this back over the ocean once again. So, Miss H has now made my 4 year old one happy girl. We've already had lots of fun playtimes with the treehouse. Hopefully we can take really great care of it and (one of these years) pass it on to another little girl who will love playing with it too!

I'm so thankful my little girls have such a sweet friend to look up to! Thank you, H!

the grandma club

Before moving overseas, and even for a long time afterward, I figured there would be a magical day in which cultural differences wouldn't really "get to me" anymore. A day in which I was so integrated into the culture that I was no longer seen as an outsider and I'd be just like one of them. I figured wrong. Or maybe I just haven't arrived there yet. I think if you talk with any expat living in this country, most would say there are periods of loving the culture and life overseas and then there are seasons where the stress of being the outsider really gets under your skin. When I take my girls out to play in the mornings, some days I feel like I'm back in junior high, not quite sure where I fit in the social order of things. Because the other kids playing outside are being cared for by their grandmothers. I've only met one stay-at-home mom in the entire apartment complex. Even at night, when the parents are off of work, it's still usually the grandparents who are outside playing with the kids. This group of grandmothers seems pretty tight and knows each other well. They are nice enough to me, but some of them are still not sure how to take these foreigners just yet. I had the most hilarious conversation with one grandmother (nai nai) just two days ago. Mind you, I've already met her on several occasions but she still can't seem to get over my, well, foreign-ness (is that even a word?) Nai nai (not even giving a morning greeting or saying hello): "Your skin is very weird. Why is your skin so white? Does your skin not get dark even if you stand in the sun?" Me: "Well, you can see I have freckles. If I stay in the sun my skin turns red and then develops freckles." Nai nai: "Well, I think your skin is very strange. Look at us, our skin does not get freckles. It just turns dark." Me: "Yes, us white folks have different skin." Nai nai: "Your daughter's eyes are not right" (yes, she literally said bu dui). Why are they blue? Our eyes are dark. Her eyes are just not right." Me: "Have you never seen a foreigner before?" Nai nai: "No, never." Yes, there's some pretty funny fodder that goes on in our morning play times. I might have to start a series on the subject because it's where all my parenting/cultural/generational gaps with the grandma group seem to loom the largest. But I'm praying and hoping we'll be good buds before long. Once they can stand to look at my white skin, that is.

in her words

On Granna's last day in town, she and Grace spent a little time remembering the fun things we did together. They even wrote a little homemade booklet to commemorate the time. So, here is Granna's visit in a nutshell, as told by Grace (with a little help, of course!) The new van picked Granna up. We live on the 4th floor. I am 4. It is my favorite number! Granna loved our new apartment.

I showed her my new pink bike and rode it for her.

She read many, many books to me.

We played school together. Granna was the teacher and all the kids came to my room.

We went to N___. I got to sleep in H's bed because he wasn't home. His bed has a big slide on it! I was so excited I could hardly sleep. At the hotel, Granna and I were roommates. We had princess beds. We played with L__. We talked and laughed in a tree. (Editor's note: no actual pictures were taken on our trip to N___, therefore you get the random picture added below.)

Back at home, H, E, J and I played with finger puppets. Granna enjoyed that.

Granna also flipped a lot of pancakes that night.

Later we had fun with Daddy and some other friends at the Stone Forest Park. Granna, Daddy and I all rode on the motorcycle together.

Granna made silly movies of me. Sometimes I call her Gran for short. Granna has to go home to Papa now. She will be back. Granna loves me and my family! Guess what? I love her too!

Granna is here!

Granna (my mom) has braved the long plane ride and jet lag once again. This trip makes her seventh trip to Asia, if I am counting correctly, and six of those times have been to come see us since we moved here in 2004. We are having a great time and savoring the last few days of her visit. We miss my Dad this time but know he is right where he needs to be overseeing a busy project at work. July has been a crazy month for Kevin managing lots of visitors and projects, so it has been a double-blessing to have my mom around while we are still settling into life in our new place. Granna has worked her tail off helping me get my house in shape, loving on my girls, and helping host meals for visitors. I do believe if she hadn't been here this month I might have had a few meltdowns along the way! It's been like having my own mental-health professional living here this month to keep me from going insane. Ha! God is very good. I will post more thoughts later but here are a few pictures to get us going... Here's the view from our new apartment balcony. I enjoy how peaceful (quiet!) it is where we live now. Another nice thing is we live close to local gov't officials and therefore don't have the power outages like folks do in other parts of town. The bad part is we don't live close to any markets or stores so getting out to buy things is a bit of a hassle. I enjoy our view of the karst (limestone) formations in the background! And sometimes we see water buffalo walking down the street.

This is completely random but Trinity started making this face one day and saw how we laughed when she made it. So now when we ask her to make her "excited face" this is what she does. She is such a ham!

I love this picture of these two...

See Trinity's black eye? She had a run-in with our coffee table. We've remedied the sharp corner situation but this child seems bent on getting hurt somehow every day. She's into EVERYTHING but I do love this toddler stage!

We love you Mom! Thank you for being here! More to come soon...

thoughts from the first two weeks

I keep meaning to download pictures off my camera and get some blog posts going, but by the time I sit down at night lately all I want to do is sleep! So until I get around to downloading pictures, I'll write a little bit of what I've discovered over the past two weeks.

• Our move went more smoothly than we could have even asked! And ironically, I like this apartment better than any I've lived in before. Go figure. Sure, this apartment has some of the funny plumbing and electrical quirks that are standard for living anywhere in this country, but overall we are really enjoying our new place.
• By day two of living here, I had a long conversation with a local friend that reminded me why we moved here in the first place. In regards to our relationships with local friends, the benefits of living here are going to be amazing.
• It is a funny experience to have local friends in your home who have never, ever in their life eaten western food. A few nights ago we had 3 ladies join us for spaghetti. I figured spaghetti, garlic bread, broccoli and fruit wouldn't rock the boat TOO much. Two of the three ladies enjoyed everything but one girl didn't like the spaghetti sauce. (Kevin laughed at the funny faces she was making and said it's a little bit of payback for all the times he's had to throw down some weird food here!) They examined all of my silverware (something we brought from the States) and couldn't believe how well-made it was. Even my apple-corer was a source of great conversation. They were thinking up new business strategies how they could make apple corers and sell them here!
• I was totally, utterly, completely spoiled in the big city by having a helper. It looks like my days of living the high-life have come to a close until I can find another helper here that I trust. The "that I trust" part is the kicker. Actually we've been asking around but have been told it will be difficult to find a helper here. My body might be 33 but most nights I feel somewhere around 73, or maybe 83. I don't know. Between going to the market/store almost daily, walking more in the heat, cooking everything from scratch, daily sweeping/mopping my new nemesis (aka the all-white flooring in my apartment), and taking my kids out to play each night I am using muscles I haven't used in a while. At night I'm tired but it's a good tired!
• My girls are transitioning so well, PTL! Grace is overall really excited to be here. One thing I've prayed specifically for is at least one or two good friends for her. There is a sweet girl two days younger than Grace who lives in our apartment complex. She and Grace have already been swimming together and last night Grace went to her birthday party to celebrate this girl's birthday on the lunar calendar!
• Another pleasant surprise is that the local knock-off version of KFC is actually pretty good. There is one place in town where we can go get our fast-food fix. I just can't look at the floor too closely. When we went last week to eat, I walked to the sink to help wash Trinity's hands and a boy (probably around 6 years old) came and peed on the floor right beside us. Not even into a drain, just right on the floor. Some of it sprayed onto my foot. I know I've been in this country long enough because I didn't hesitate to tell him he really should have gone into the toilet, which was a mere 10 feet away. He just looked at me, finished his business, and walked back to his table.
• My family consumes much more cheese in a week than I realized. We have to store it up from the big city and were (GASP) running low but had wonderful friends save the day by sending some cheese, butter, and other supplies down to us. Lesson learned: always buy more cheese than what I think I will need.
• The big preschool-hunt has begun. This is worthy of a blog-post in itself. Grace is SOO ready to go to preschool. I'm ready for her to go. This will be trial and error. I am torn between taking her to what everyone calls one of the "better" preschools which will likely have almost 50 students in a classroom versus a smaller one that everyone says is not as good but would have 25 or so students in a class. More on that and pictures to come later...

Thank you for lifting up our move!